Remarital Bliss
by macisgate
Summary: It's 'married life' at the SGC! Sequel to "Marital Bliss". What happens to Jack and Sam when Koshan comes for a visit? How will their friends handle their 'marriage?
1. Chapter 1

Remarital Bliss  
  
A little ditty to add to the craziness of 'Marital Bliss' in honour of Valentine's Day. You'll probably want to have read that first. I think I'll make this a few chapters, so that's why I'm starting it now. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I d-don't ow-wn S-S-Stargate! *author breaks down into unintelligible sobs*  
  
Season: I don't know. You can pick your favorite. I will have Sam as a major in this one. Ooh, maybe I'll put Jonas in it. I haven't written for him yet.  
  
Spoilers: none  
  
* * *  
  
Jack, Teal'c, and Jonas walked down the hallway in their civvies.  
  
"Man," Jack shook his head. "The past three weeks in the jungles of Trebala. This downtime couldn't have come at a better time. I swear, if I hear one more person call my name before I get out of here . . ."  
  
*Colonel O'Neill, please report to the briefing room. Colonel O'Neill to the briefing room.*  
  
"This is not happening! This is so not happening! You know what? I don't care. In two minutes I can be completely out the door."  
  
"I do not believe that would be wise, O'Neill."  
  
"Yeah, come on, we'll even go with you," Jonas offered.  
  
Jack gave a groan, then turned around and retraced his steps with his friends.  
  
"Oh, wait. Let me go grab my notebook from my office. I'll join you in a minute," Jonas said as he started back down the hallway."  
  
"Fine, but if you're not back here in five . . ." Jack opened the door. ". . . Oh whoa!" Quickly he backed into Teal'c, trying to close the door and escape, but Teal'c remained firm behind him.  
  
"O'Neill, you must enter," Teal'c hissed in his ear gripping Jack's collar.  
  
"All right. All right."  
  
He took a deep breath and straightened his clothes.  
  
*A husband's got to do what a husband's got to do.*  
  
Taking off his jacket and throwing it on the nearest chair, Jack nodded hello to the general then walked over to Sam, wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a jaw-dropping kiss.  
  
The sound of high squeaky noises finally drew their attention. They came up for air to see Jonas standing in the doorway, papers falling from his slack arms.  
  
"I don't think I can move."  
  
"Now, now Jonas, don't you want to meet our good friends Koshan and Kalara?"  
  
Koshan just beamed as he put an arm around the general and gave a mighty squeeze.  
  
"What love!"  
  
* * *  
  
Sam and Jack walked down the SGC corridors receiving strange looks.  
  
"Hey, what are you lookin' at!" Jack glowered.  
  
The young SF scampered farther ahead throwing scared glances over his shoulder.  
  
"Sir, it might have something to do with my lipstick all over your face."  
  
"Wait a minute, aren't we supposed to have a baby by now?"  
  
The SF tripped to the floor.  
  
* * *  
  
I don't know. Do you want me to continue or should I just leave well enough alone? I thought it would be funny having them carry their pretend marriage into the SGC. The next chapter should be funnier. I just needed to get warmed up to the story. Hope you enjoyed! Please review and let me know. Thanks guys! 


	2. Chapter 2

Remarital Bliss - Chapter 2  
  
Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews, everyone! They made my day. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
* * *  
  
Koshan squirmed for the twentieth time in the last forty minutes and cleared his throat.  
  
"Koshan, you okay? We can go find something more interesting to do," Jack offered, looking up from his paperwork.  
  
"Oh no, no. This is most interesting!"  
  
Jack was not convinced.  
  
"I really don't mind. We can go find Sam and Kalara and get something to eat if you'd like. You don't even need to worry about Samantha-darling's cooking; we've got a commissary here."  
  
Still Koshan was not satisfied.  
  
"I-I am just a little worried," he replied vaguely. "You, you and Major O'Neill have a child, do you not?"  
  
"Well, yes. Uh um, Little Georgie. Named him after the General. Ahem."  
  
"But I have not seen him. Do you not wish to spend time with your child?"  
  
"Well, well yes. You see, it's just that this is a serious place of work. We're not allowed to bring Little Georgie with us. It could be dangerous. So, uh, we have a sitter watch him while we're away. And we call him all the time. The sitter holds the phone to his ear. He mostly just babbles, but I like to think we're building a strong father/son connection."  
  
Jack gave himself a mental pat on the back . . .  
  
"How wonderful! Then you will call him now? Don't let me get in your way! Please, please. Say hello to Little Georgie."  
  
. . . and a mental slap to his head.  
  
"Why of course, we'll just do that right now."  
  
Jack reached over, picked up the phone, and hit the speed dial casting a furtive glance in Koshan's direction . ~General Hammond speaking.~  
  
Jack cringed inwardly.  
  
*Deep breath, Jack. Deep breath.*  
  
"Hey there little guy! You miss me? How's my Little Georgie doing?"  
  
~Jack, is that you?~  
  
"Oh I miss my Little Georgie! Yes I do. Yes I do. You are just the cutie- wutiest! Yes you are!"  
  
~Colonel O'Neill! What is the meaning of this!~  
  
Knock. Knock.  
  
"Hello, Jack-dearest. Hello, Koshan. I hope Kalara and I aren't disturbing you."  
  
Jack put his hand over the phone.  
  
"Samantha, sweet lamb of my heart! You're just in time to talk to our darling baby, Little Georgie! Quick, don't keep him waiting. You know how distraught he gets when he doesn't hear from his mommy."  
  
Jack practically threw the receiver at her. Sam threw a hateful glance at Jack. She'd left him to do paperwork, for crying out loud.  
  
"H-Hello? Little Georgie?" Sam raised an eyebrow at the name. "This is mommy. How's my sweet pumpkin doing today?"  
  
~Major Carter!! I want you and Colonel O'Neill in my office this instant!~  
  
"Now, now Little Georgie, there's no need to fuss. Your daddy and I will be with you as soon as we can. We just love you so much! But your mean Grandpa George cancelled Mommy's and Daddy's downtime, so we won't be home for a few days. We'll talk to you later, okay?"  
  
~Major Carter, I'm counting to ten.~  
  
"Bye bye now."  
  
She hung up the phone.  
  
"Oh Jack, sunshine of my life," Sam began through clenched teeth. "I forgot to mention earlier that the General would like to see us. Immediately."  
  
"Oh, how nice. We mustn't keep the dear man waiting. Koshan, Kalara, why don't you walk with us, and we'll leave you to visit Teal'c while we talk with the General."  
  
"Lovely!"  
  
* * *  
  
Teal'c slapped a piece of unidentifiable meat on his plate, Koshan babbling happily behind him.  
  
"It must give you such great pleasure to witness, everyday, the love between Colonel and Major O'Neill." Koshan and Kalara shared a loving glance and sigh.  
  
"Indeed it does."  
  
"And when Colonel O'Neill danced the Krubawala drum dance with such vigor. You could just see the pride beaming off of Major O'Neill's face. Beautiful!"  
  
"I am sure."  
  
They took their seats. Teal'c kept his mouth full to avoid conversation.  
  
Koshan continued his story of the Muhana Kuwala when he suddenly noticed the curious glances being thrown their way.  
  
"Please, please," he motioned to the others in the commissary to draw near. "I will tell you of Colonel and Major O'Neill's version of the Teralaki love song about the grichi's endless search for its mate through the harsh, cold, starless night. Always searching, always longing, never finding the love Colonel and Major O'Neill have clearly found with each other!" he wiped his eyes. He did not need to ask twice.  
  
* * *  
  
"Wow, I can't believe the General was so mad."  
  
"Yeah, you'd think he'd be a little more understanding considering the circumstances."  
  
"Oh well, at least now he knows to expect these calls."  
  
"I still can't believe you called our baby Little Georgie."  
  
"Yeah, but did you notice how the General softened up when we told him?"  
  
They rounded the corner to the commissary.  
  
"And then the Colonel gave a mighty leap, landing on the rare kookielookie bird. They fought, they struggled, feathers flying in all directions until we could not see enough to tell who was gaining the upper hand. And then just as we were about to give up hope," Koshan paused for effect causing his audience to lean in even closer. "Then, through the feathers falling like snow, the Colonel emerged, victorious!"  
  
A collective breath was released. A few eyes were discretely wiped.  
  
"That was so beautiful," the commissary cook sighed still holding onto her ladle.  
  
Jonas caught sight of Jack and Sam and waved them over to the middle of the room where everyone was closely seated.  
  
"Hey guys, Koshan's just about to tell us about the ceremonial mud bath."  
  
"Oh, I think Koshan's told you quite enough already."  
  
"O'Neill, I am finding Koshan's retelling of the Muhana Kuwala to be quite moving."  
  
Teal'c turned back to Koshan.  
  
"Please continue."  
  
Jack sighed in defeat.  
  
"Airman, pass that popcorn."  
  
"Now, as I was explaining, it wasn't exactly mud in the bath . . ."  
  
This could get interesting. 


	3. Chapter 3

Remarital Bliss - Chapter 3  
  
Jack straightened up some of the papers on his desk. He and Koshan had been staying here so much, he was just about caught up on all his paper work. There really wasn't much else to do around the base, and he didn't want Koshan sharing every little detail from their visit to Lenowa. Last night's episode had been quite enough, thank you very much.  
  
"Look," Jack said, setting down his pen. "I need to speak with the General before SG1's briefing. Why don't you just make yourself at home here? Don't worry about the phone. The machine can get any messages."  
  
Koshan looked up from the tangled up yo-yo.  
  
"Oh, of course, Colonel O'Neill. Please give my regards to General Hammond."  
  
"Will do."  
  
Jack gave a mock salute, then headed out the door for the walk to Hammond's office.  
  
*Man,* he rubbed the back of his neck. *Married life sure puts a lot of strain on a guy!*  
  
* * *  
  
Koshan fiddled with Jack's rubix cube for a time. Losing interest in the impossible toy, he walked over to Jack's bookshelf, sparse as it was, and looked over the volumes. Suddenly a voice sounded from Jack's desk.  
  
*You've reached Jack O'Neill. Unless your name is Hathor, please leave your name and number, and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can.*  
  
Beep  
  
*Jack, this is Kate. Look, I know it's been a few months, but, oh, well, what the hey, I was wondering what you thought of us getting back together. I haven't stopped thinking of you. I can't believe how stupid I was to let you go. Please? Will you meet me for coffee sometime? I'd really like to see if we could make it work this time. Call me.*  
  
Koshan rushed out of the room.  
  
"Oh, this is most terrible. Most terrible indeed!"  
  
* * *  
  
Koshan stood in the doorway of Sam's lab unsure how to proceed. It seemed she and Kalara were sharing a cup of coffee.  
  
"So by the time I finally got home, Jack had spaghetti all over the walls, and Little Georgie's face was covered in tomato sauce. It was the most adorable sight in the world."  
  
Sam looked up when she felt someone watching her.  
  
"Koshan! Please come in. Kalara and I were just having a little girl talk, but you're welcome to join us."  
  
"Oh, Major O'Neill. I do not know what to do. I have most painful news. I-I do not know where to begin!"  
  
"Look, I'm sure it's really not that bad. Just slow down, and tell us what's going on."  
  
Koshan walked farther into the room.  
  
"I was in Colonel O'Neill's office. He had gone to talk to General Hammond. I-I was just standing there when . . . when . . ."  
  
Sam and Kalara leaned forward.  
  
"When what?" they finally exclaimed together.  
  
"Major O'Neill . . . I believe Colonel O'Neill is being unfaithful!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Colonel, perhaps we should have someone call Major Carter's lab. She may have forgotten about our briefing."  
  
"Oh, let's just give her a couple more minutes. You know how engrossed she gets in her doohickeys."  
  
"Colonel, I'm not blind. I know you just want to finish your game of paper football with Teal'c."  
  
Teal'c looked up innocently. Jack cleared his throat. Jonas snickered at them, then returned to eating his banana.  
  
Everyone stopped what they were doing as voices could be heard coming toward them.  
  
"Major O'Neill, Major O'Neill, please, you must calm down. Perhaps we can all sit down and talk this through. I'm sure Colonel O'Neill is very, very sorry. Oh dear, oh dear! Please wait up!"  
  
Jack and the others froze in horror as the voices got closer and closer.  
  
The door flew open slamming against the wall.  
  
Sam looked amazingly calm considering the shouts from Koshan. Jack got up from his seat and went to her.  
  
"Sam, sweet lamb of my youth, what's going on? Koshan, Kalara, you're all out of breath."  
  
SLAP!  
  
"Jack O'Neill, I don't ever want to hear you call me 'sweet lamb' again! Did you think you could hide something like that from me? Did you think I'd never find out?! Ohhh! I don't believe you!  
  
She slapped him again.  
  
"Ow! Would you just stop that? What are you talking about?"  
  
Sam crossed her arms.  
  
"Don't try to play innocent with me. Koshan told me everything. I know about Kate."  
  
"Kate? I don't, well, wait, but that was mon . . . oh, oh dear. Um look, can we just talk about this? I-I don't . . ."  
  
"Jack," Jonas jumped in. "I can't believe you would cheat on Sam like that. I mean after all she does to make your family work. What about Little Georgie?" he shook his head.  
  
"I, too, would like to express my deepest disappointment in you, O'Neill. Major O'Neill has been nothing but a loving, devoted wife. Did your Muhana Kuwala mean nothing to you?"  
  
Even Hammond was looking at him in disgust. Jack threw his *friends* a withering gaze.  
  
"Look, Sam, dearest apple of my heart," he reached out to hold her hands.  
  
"No," she backed away. "No, I don't want to hear it. If Little Georgie and I mean so little to you, then you can just go be with Kate!"  
  
*My goodness,* Jack thought. *Are those actual tears?*  
  
Sam stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.  
  
* * *  
  
"Sam? Sam, are you out here?" Jack shivered at the low temperature as he left the base. Spotting a blonde-headed figure in the distance, he started jogging forward.  
  
"Man, Sam, that was great," he began as he neared her. "Even the General looked convinced. Poor Koshan is still ringing his hands. Sam?"  
  
She still had her back turned toward him. That wasn't good.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong? Everything's okay. They completely bought it. Now we just have to wait out here a few minutes, and then go in and tell them we made up. Easy."  
  
A sniffle reached his ear. She was swiping a mittened hand over her cheeks.  
  
Jack frowned, then walked farther ahead to stand in front of her. Leaning down, he tried to catch her eyes.  
  
"Sam? I'm not mad, if that's what you're worried about. I know you were just play . . ."  
  
"Who's Kate?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Who's Kate?" she asked again, her voice very tight.  
  
"Well, she's just some girl I was seeing a few months ago. It was never anything serious. She dumped me because of my work hours. Can't say I blamed her."  
  
"You want to get back together with her?"  
  
"What? No, of course not. I mean, my work hours haven't changed. She'd go for a couple weeks trying not to let it bother her, but I don't think it would last much beyond that."  
  
"Oh," Sam nodded her head, then turned to head back to the SGC.  
  
"Hey, Sam, wait up. Why are you so upset? Do you want to talk about this some more?"  
  
"Colonel, I'm fine. It's just been a rough day I guess. Let's just go back inside now. It's freezing out here."  
  
"Are you're sure . . . ?"  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
The walk back to the base was very silent.  
  
* * *  
  
Okay, so I really wanted this chapter to be funnier, but it was hard. I hope you all enjoyed it though. Thanks so much for all the reviews so far. I really appreciate them. Keep them coming! The next chapter should be pretty cute with much more humour. Thanks for reading! 


	4. Chapter 4

Remarital Bliss - Chapter 4  
  
Wow everyone! I can not say thank you enough for all the kind reviews! You are too nice. Hope you like the next chapter.  
  
* * *  
  
Jack set his tray on the table and took the seat across from Sam. She didn't look up.  
  
He coughed. She still didn't look up.  
  
He started pouring orange juice on his fruit loops.  
  
"Ah! Now that got your attention. I was afraid I was going to have to throw myself out the window before you looked up."  
  
Sam gave him a small half-smile then returned to her notes.  
  
At the warmth of two socked feet snuggling with her own, she shook her head in disbelief, but her smile got a little wider.  
  
Jack leaned in.  
  
"There, that's better. Now, what drastic lengths will I have to go to to get the formerly forbidden giggle?"  
  
"Just a little bit farther," she returned as she picked up her tray and walked out of the commissary.  
  
Jack pondered this as he lifted the spoon to his mouth . . .  
  
And spat out his fruit loops.  
  
* * *  
  
Jonas ran up to join Teal'c in the corridor.  
  
"Hey Teal'c, wait up. I just got a great idea! I think it will help Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, well, 'get back together' as it were."  
  
"What do you propose Jonas Quinn?"  
  
* * *  
  
Jack, Sam, Koshan, Kalara, and General Hammond sat around the table in the briefing room. Each one fiddled quietly to themselves, tensions beginning to rise.  
  
Koshan looked worriedly from one to another about to try breaking the silence when hustling could be heard through the door.  
  
Jack tensed slightly remembering the last time someone had come at him through that door.  
  
"Hey everybody!" Jonas exclaimed as he burst open the door. "Look who I've got. Little Georgie!"  
  
*I do not believe this. I simple refuse to believe this. The man is actually balancing a baby on his hip.*  
  
Teal'c was standing beside Jonas looking very pleased.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, Major O'Neill, are you not pleased to see Little Georgie?"  
  
"Yeah guys. I gave the sitter the afternoon off. You haven't gotten to spend time with Little Georgie in ages."  
  
"Oh Jonas, you're always so thoughtful."  
  
Sam took the baby from Jonas and snuggled him close.  
  
"There's my sweet baby. Mommy missed you so much!"  
  
Jack walked over and started tickling the baby's stomach. He had to admit it was a beautiful baby. He had the most impossible blue eyes.  
  
"Jonas," General Hammond whispered. "How did you pull this off?"  
  
"Carrie, one of the nurses, had to bring Henry here in to work today. I did a little sweet-talking and . . ."  
  
Hammond looked over at Sam and Jack as they played with the baby.  
  
Koshan bustled up to join him.  
  
"Ah, General Hammond! Isn't it beautiful? Perhaps seeing Little Georgie will help them put aside their differences. Jonas, Teal'c, this was a most beautiful thing that you have done."  
  
"Whoa, what's that smell!"  
  
"Okay, maybe not that beautiful."  
  
* * *  
  
Jack juggled two cups of coffee and a box of doughnuts as he entered Sam's lab. He walked over to where she was sitting at her desk.  
  
"Quite an exciting day with Little Georgie wasn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, that was one beautiful baby," she said as she took a sip of the peace offering and laughed. "Did you see the way the General was bouncing him on his knee and making all those funny faces? You'd think Henry really was his namesake."  
  
"Yeah, well my favorite was when Jonas tried to feed him one of his bananas. He looked so offended when Henry spit it back out."  
  
"And when Teal'c had to hold him while we went to find a diaper? He was holding him out as far from him as he could. He looked so disgusted."  
  
They continued reminiscing over their doughnuts when Jack cleared his throat.  
  
"Um, Sam, listen, I ah just wanted you to know that thing with Kate, it really was no big deal. I mean, I thought since we can't, I mean, well, I thought maybe if I just, um, well, now I realize there's just, and I-I really regret it and I . . ."  
  
"Jack," Sam interrupted him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You have jam running down your chin."  
  
"Oh," Jack reached up to swipe away the offending substance.  
  
"And thanks."  
  
* * *  
  
You like? Turned out a little different than I'd intended, but I think it still works. Thanks for reading! I will try to have the next chapter up shortly. Hope you enjoy. 


	5. Chapter 5

Special thanks to Anouk Sun Amun for this idea in a review of "Marital Bliss". The other story was set too early for it to work, but now I can fit it in. Thanks so much!  
  
* * *  
  
Sam and Jack ran down the corridors of the SGC.  
  
"Little Georgie! Little Georgie! Sweet darling! Let's not play hide and seek right now okay?"  
  
"Come on, Little Georgie. Show Mommy and Daddy where you're hiding."  
  
"Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill, may I ask what you are doing?"  
  
"Teal'c, we're in trouble. We can't find Little Georgie!"  
  
"I will assist you. Where did you see him last?"  
  
Jack and Sam blushed slightly.  
  
"Well, you see, um, we were kind of in the commissary feeding Little Georgie some Jell-O . . ."  
  
"And then, well, the Colonel and I kind of got into an argument over which colour was best . . ."  
  
"And now . . ."  
  
"We don't really know where he is."  
  
Teal'c just raised his eyebrows at them.  
  
"I will locate Jonas Quinn. Perhaps he can help as well."  
  
* * *  
  
Jonas and Teal'c walked into the control room.  
  
"General, you wouldn't happen to have seen Little Georgie, would you?"  
  
"What do you mean? I though he was with Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?"  
  
"Well, you see, sir, they kind of lost him. Now we're all trying to find him."  
  
"They lost my namesake!"  
  
"Off-world gate activation," was announced beside them.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"It's the Tokra, sir."  
  
* * *  
  
Jacob stepped through the gate.  
  
"Ah, it's good to be home. George, what's that baby doing over there?"  
  
* * *  
  
"Run, Teal'c, run!"  
  
"Jonas Quinn," Teal'c began as a blur rushed past. He started off after his friend.  
  
* * *  
  
Jack and Sam walked along the hallway, opening doors and calling for Little Georgie as they went.  
  
"Colonel O'Neeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllll!!!"  
  
"Sir, did you here that?"  
  
Umph!  
  
"Jonas! Watch where you're going!"  
  
Jonas took gulping breaths. Teal'c arrived not quite so out of breath.  
  
"Couldn't stop . . . Had to warn you . . . Stargate . . . Sam's dad . . . Big trouble . . .!"  
  
Sam and Jack froze. From one end of the corridor, they heard a voice.  
  
"Oh! Colonel and Major O'Neill, there you are. Kalara and I wish to take Little Georgie for a while, and let the two of you have time to spend together, rekindling the flame that is your love. Ahh!" he sighed.  
  
From the other end of the corridor, they heard another voice.  
  
"Jonas? Where were you off to in such a hurry?"  
  
They stared as Jacob walked up to them carrying a beaming Little Georgie.  
  
Smiling, Jacob walked nonchalantly over to Jack and, using his free hand, gave the Colonel's shoulder a non-too friendly squeeze.  
  
"You know, I leave you two alone for four months . . ."  
  
"Oh, *Dad*, you just never come home often enough!"  
  
"Such a beautiful family! Ahh!"  
  
* * *  
  
Sorry this chapter took a while in coming. School's been pretty busy. Hope you enjoyed! And thanks again Anouk Sun Amun. 


	6. Chapter 6

Remarital Bliss – Chapter 6  
  
Thank you so much, everyone, for the continued support of this story. It is Valentine's Eve. I'm alone, but that doesn't mean my characters have to be! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!  
  
* * *  
  
Jonas heaped food on his tray at breakfast. Teal'c and Jacob were ahead of him doing the same.  
  
"Hey, Teal'c, you're looking pretty pleased with yourself. What's going on?"  
  
"It is Valentine's Day, Jonas Quinn."  
  
Jacob groaned.  
  
* * *  
  
Sam walked over to the Mountain entrance while stuffing her keys in her pocket. Looking up she spotted her CO.  
  
"Finally!"  
  
"Sorry, sir, I didn't realize you were waiting for me."  
  
"You don't understand. I completely forgot. We need to do something. Make plans. Get really mushy."  
  
"Mushy, sir?"  
  
"Carter, it's Valentine's Day."  
  
* * *  
  
"And IIIII-I will always looove youuuuuuuu. And IIIII will always love you- OOOOOOOO . . ."  
  
"JONAS! For the love of all that's good! Cut the music!"  
  
"Sorry, Colonel, I didn't realize you were there. What do you think so far?"  
  
The commissary was covered. In pink. And hearts. And balloons.  
  
"Yes, please Colonel O'Neill. Jonas and Teal'c have told me of this festivity. Tell me, are we doing this correctly?"  
  
"Yeah, Jack. What do you think?"  
  
Jack spun around to look over in the corner.  
  
"Jacob?!"  
  
Jacob never removed his glare from Jack as he continued to blow up his balloon.  
  
"Surely you and Major O'Neill have made plans for this special occasion?"  
  
"You know what? I was actually going to go discuss those plans with her right now."  
  
Jack turned and left the commissary. He shook his head as he walked to Sam's lab where they'd agreed to meet.  
  
"Man, oh man! Two mighty warriors and an alien genius. Hanging up sparkly pink streamers."  
  
* * *  
  
Koshan continued his conversation after Jack left.  
  
"It is so beautiful to see the way Colonel and Major O'Neill have worked through their problems so quickly. When I discovered that Colonel O'Neill had been unfaithful to Major O'Neill? It was just terrible! But I now see that their love is stronger than . . . Jacob? Are you not well?"  
  
"He what?!"  
  
The balloon popped.  
  
"Oh dear!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Well, I was thinking we could just talk and act even more, well, to borrow your word, mushy. Then we can exchange homemade cards in front of Koshan and everyone. Maybe share a bowl of Jell-O at the commissary during lunch, hand-feeding each other of course. And then . . ."  
  
"JAAAAAAACK!" Jacob's voice rang from the hallway.  
  
"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"  
  
"Sam!" he held her close. "Protect me! I'm too young to die! I mean, I know there's a lot of gray, but I still have a lot of good years left to give, I swear!"  
  
The door slammed open.  
  
"Jacob. You look a little, um, well . . . You weren't breathing too much helium in there were you?"  
  
"I can not believe you cheated on my daughter! When I get through with you, you'll wish you'd never laid eyes on that Kate."  
  
"Am I the only one that remembers that Sam and I aren't really married?"  
  
* * *  
  
Sam giggled again.  
  
"Major, it wasn't that funny!"  
  
"Oh come on. You were scared, admit it."  
  
"I don't have to admit anything."  
  
"'Oh Jacob. Please. I promise I will never cheat on Sam again. She's the only one for me! Please don't hurt me!'"  
  
"Eat your Jell-O, Major."  
  
"And then when he grabbed your ear and . . ."  
  
Suddenly her mouth was stuffed with Jell-O, muffling but not stopping her laughter.  
  
"Careful, Major. Wouldn't want that stuff coming out your nose."  
  
* * *  
  
"Sir?" Sam called into Jack's office.  
  
"Yeah, come in."  
  
"I wanted to give you this."  
  
"Hey! You really did make me a card!"  
  
He opened it up and read out loud.  
  
"'I'm making a vow/To show that I care/If Anise shows up again/I'll rip out her hair/' Sam, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever promised me! Here read mine."  
  
Sam opened up the heart-shaped card.  
  
"Sir, you shouldn't have! 'Roses are red/Jell-O is blue/No matter what planet/I'll gate home to you/' That was beautiful!"  
  
"Really? You thought so? Because I really worked hard on that one."  
  
"I could tell."  
  
"You really mean what you said?"  
  
"About Anise?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Her eyes too, sir. Her eyes too."  
  
"I love you!"  
  
They wrapped their arms around each other.  
  
"I love you too!"  
  
* * *  
  
Sorry that chapter was so long in coming! I had so much schoolwork. The worst is over though, so new chapters will be much more frequent. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know. Happy Valentine's Day! 


	7. Chapter 7

Remarital Bliss – Chapter 7  
  
Hey everyone! I know, I know, I keep promising faster updates! Well, I'm not promising anymore, but just know that I will do my best =) Thank you all so much for the kind reviews. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
  
* * *  
  
Last time on Remarital Bliss –  
  
"I love you!"  
  
They wrapped their arms around each other.  
  
"I love you too!"  
  
And now for the continuation –  
  
They held each other tightly, warmed by the promises and love of the other when . . .  
  
Thump. Thump. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh!"  
  
"Sir, did you here that?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"That thumping. It's coming from your door."  
  
"What the –"  
  
He opened the door.  
  
"Jonas? What are you doing down there?"  
  
"Can't get up. Too much red food colouring. I think I'm going to –"  
  
"No!" Sam and Jack cried in unison.  
  
Too late.  
  
"I think we'd better get you to the infirmary."  
  
"No, I want to go back to the party," he groaned weakly. "There's cake and everything."  
  
At the mention of cake, however, his face took on a ghastly shade.  
  
"No arguments, Jonas. You're a mess."  
  
They each took a side of him and made their way to the infirmary. They placed him on a bed as Janet walked over.  
  
"Not another one! That's the seventeenth one in fifty minutes. What did you guys put in that food?"  
  
Her question went unanswered as she set about settling Jonas in.  
  
Jack and Sam started to leave.  
  
"Guys, wait!" Jonas held out a feeble hand to them. "Go to the party. It's so beautiful! We worked so hard on it. There's pink streamers and everything. You'll love it. Please?"  
  
Jack was about to deny, but Sam jumped it.  
  
"Don't worry, Jonas. We'll go see your party."  
  
"Thanks, guys. You're the best."  
  
* * *  
  
"Sam, please don't make me go in there."  
  
"Come on, Jack. Just for a few minutes so we can say we went."  
  
Jack took a deep breath.  
  
"Okay. I'm ready."  
  
He took Sam's hand firmly in his, and they made their way into the commissary.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Ca-O'Neill. Welcome to this bountiful, blessed, and most beautiful celebration of love."  
  
"Teal'c?"  
  
"Why is everyone all dressed in pink."  
  
"Pink is a colour often associated with this holiday, is it not?"  
  
"Oh, oh yeah. Ahem."  
  
"Please partake of the food. There is plenty for everyone."  
  
Sam and Jack walked toward the tables casting furtive glances over their shoulders at Teal'c as he went the opposite way to mingle.  
  
They arrived at the punch table first.  
  
"Jacob?"  
  
Yes, the Tok'ra was actually serving punch.  
  
"If you say one word . . ."  
  
"And moving on to the dessert table!"  
  
"Sir, I don't think you should eat so much of that cake. You saw what happened to Jonas."  
  
"Oh, just one little piece won't hurt."  
  
"It does look good."  
  
Koshan bustled up to them.  
  
"Isn't the cake most beautiful! And I iced these heart-shaped cookies myself. Granted, I have never cooked before, but I must say, it was quite enjoyable."  
  
Jack put a few obligatory cookies on his plate and stuffed a few in his mouth.  
  
"Hmph! Thethe are rearry good! Aam, try ome."  
  
"Jack-valentine, are you sure?"  
  
Koshan looked rather hurt.  
  
Sam quickly stuffed her mouth full.  
  
"Hmph! They are rearry goog!"  
  
Koshan beamed then bustled off to welcome some more newcomers.  
  
"Carter, I think as long as we keep eating we'll be okay."  
  
"Yes sir!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Please, everyone, may I have your attention?" Teal'c leaned into the microphone.  
  
No one heard him.  
  
He tried again.  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"JAFFA KREE!!!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Thank you. I would now like to sing a song about love. It is most beautiful."  
  
He nodded curtly to the SF managing the music.  
  
"*L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very very extraordinary. . .*"  
  
* * *  
  
"Sir, are you sure you aren't eating too much?"  
  
"Carter, this food is amazing. Go on and fill up your plate."  
  
"I've already had four pieces of cake, three cookies, eight glasses of punch, and twelve popcorn balls. All pink. I think we've both had enough."  
  
Jack was beginning to get an uncomfortable look on his face.  
  
"Maybe you're right. I know! I'll go sing you a song. That'll keep me from the food for a while."  
  
"You can sing?"  
  
"Aw, come on. I'll even dedicate it too you."  
  
"All right, but I think I'm going to need more cake for this."  
  
"Everyone! Don't make me order you to pay attention! That's better. I'd like to dedicate this little ditty to my sweet other half, Samantha. Oh, and to her father who has always welcomed me with open arms and regarded me as one of his own."  
  
He waved at Jacob, then cleared his throat and began.  
  
"*You were my strength when I was weak. You were my voice when I couldn't speak. You were my eyes when I couldn't see. You saw the best there was in me. . .!*"  
  
"This is going to take more than just one piece of cake." Sam headed back to the desserts.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'd like to dedicate this song to all of you. You're made of sterner stuff than those sissies in the infirmary. Let's do it, George."  
  
"*Is it written in the stars!*"  
  
"*Are we paying for some crime!*"  
  
"Please tell me that's not General Hammond!"  
  
"With the Doc!"  
  
"On his lap!"  
  
"What's in this food anyway?"  
  
"At this point, I really don't care to know, sir."  
  
* * *  
  
"I don't think I'll ever see Valentine's Day the same way again."  
  
Sam waved her fingers in front of her face.  
  
"I think I've gone colour blind."  
  
They sat together in the deserted commissary, unable to move.  
  
"How long do you think it will take for Koshan's special Bellangarli Love Spice, in the special shade of pink no less, to get out of our system?"  
  
"Judging from how much we ate, sir, not fast enough."  
  
"Tell me again why someone let him play in the kitchen."  
  
"He said he had a special ingredient."  
  
"Oh it was special all right."  
  
They groaned again in unison as they bent forward to lean their heads against the table.  
  
"To think of your dad. Singing opera. I'm scarred for life."  
  
"And having Selmac make it a duet? I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again."  
  
"Koshan seemed to have a good time though."  
  
"Yeah, but then again, he always seems to have a good time when it comes to love."  
  
"Just wait till the General wakes up."  
  
They both offered muffled giggles from their prone positions.  
  
They were silent for a time.  
  
Then a thought occurred.  
  
"The security tapes!"  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
* * *  
  
Wow! I can't believe I wrote so much. I had no idea how this would turn out when I started. Well, I hope you enjoyed. I'm not sure how much longer I will keep this going. Maybe two or three more chapters. Thanks so much for reading! And thanks again for all the reviews! 


	8. Chapter 8

Remarital Bliss – Chapter 8  
  
Hey everyone! Here is the eighth and final chapter! I hope you like it. Sorry to anyone who found the last chapter confusing. I was tired, there was chocolate, there was a computer. It all made perfect sense to me at the time =) Anyway, hopefully this chapter will be more focused.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey Teal'c, have you noticed the Colonel and Major being a little more "touchy-feely" lately. Even more so than necessary?"  
  
"I believe it is because Koshan and Kalara will be leaving shortly."  
  
A relieved sigh echoed throughout the commissary. Last night's Valentine's party had left them all a little worse for wear.  
  
"So they're going to have to go back to the way things were?"  
  
"Precisely."  
  
Just then Jack and Sam entered the room. Or tried to that is.  
  
"After you, sweet gumdrop."  
  
"No, no, after you, my honey bunny!"  
  
"No really, you go ahead."  
  
"Ah ah. I insist."  
  
"I believe O'Neill and Major Carter require our assistance, Jonas Quinn."  
  
* * *  
  
The debriefing went much the same. Jonas was trying to make a very serious presentation, but two certain officers were too busy staring at each other and playing footsie to notice.  
  
When Jonas finished up, General Hammond dismissed them.  
  
"Colonel, Major, please stay back for a moment."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"I understand that it will be difficult for you to return to your regular roles as Colonel and Major, but for the sake of gossip and the smooth running of this facility, I must insist that you keep your "displays of affection" to a minimum. Is that understood?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Of course sir."  
  
That was strange.  
  
"Now I'm not saying that the circumstances haven't been difficult, but out of seriousness for the work we do here, you're going to need to return to your original roles immediately after Koshan and Kalara leaves."  
  
"Oh definitely sir!"  
  
"No doubt about it!"  
  
"Don't you worry."  
  
*They're looking at me funny. They've got something up their sleeves. I just don't know what yet.*  
  
"Dismissed," he said uneasily.  
  
* * *  
  
Jack and Sam rushed out of the room so they could release their pent-up laughter.  
  
"You think he suspects anything, sir?"  
  
"He looked as innocent as a spring lamb, Carter. This is going to be perfect!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, how I will miss you! And you! And you!"  
  
With each "and you" Koshan was going around hugging people.  
  
"What utmost pleasure it has been to be among such wonderful people who hold love in such high esteem! So beautiful! But where is Little Georgie? I must say goodbye to him as well."  
  
"Here he is." Jack walked into the gate room carrying Little Georgie. Sam was beside him.  
  
"Such a beautiful family!"  
  
Koshan rushed over and pinched Little Georgie's cheeks, then enveloped Jack and Sam in one big group hug.  
  
"Easy there now Koshan. Wouldn't want to break anything!"  
  
"Oh O'Neill, you are always such a 'kidder'!" he said giving Jack a playful punch in the shoulder. "But now I must leave. It simply breaks my heart, but our people will be missing us."  
  
The stargate was dialed. As the wormhole was established, Sam and Jack stood even closer together. As Koshan and Kalara turned back for one final wave, they waved back with huge grins on their faces.  
  
Jonas released a relieved breath.  
  
"Finally, they're gone! Don't get me wrong, guys. Your friends are nice, but . . ."  
  
"Oh we understand."  
  
"It will be nice to get things back the way they should be."  
  
As they spoke, they only had eyes for each other. They moved even closer and closer together. Jonas nudged Teal'c as they began kissing like nobody's business!  
  
"Uh, guys?"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill! Major Carter! What is the meaning of this! I explicitly told you that once Koshan and Kalara left, you were to go back to your original roles as unmarried."  
  
"Aw General! We thought about it."  
  
"We really did."  
  
"But this is just so much better!"  
  
"We've decided to get married for real!"  
  
"And might I remind you that you are acting against regulations?"  
  
"And might I have permission to show you a certain video that might change your mind?"  
  
Blackmail. Such a beautiful thing!  
  
Little Georgie giggled.  
  
Jack and Sam just beamed.  
  
* * *  
  
THE END!  
  
Well, I hope that last chapter didn't disappoint! I've had so much work the last while that it's been hard to give this story the time it deserved. I hope you had fun. I know I did! Please review and let me know! Best wishes and lots of love!  
  
macisgate 


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